Fire Burn and Cauldron Bubble

Tis the night — the night
Of the grave’s delight,
And the warlocks are at their play;
Ye think that without
The wild winds shout,
But no, it is they — it is they.

~Arthur Cleveland Coxe

Is it really Halloween without a few puns? Although my wicked witch senses were slightly satisfied after dressing my cat as a Jedi – in an attempt to boost my holiday spirit I had to CREEP it real and remind everyone that these painfully corny jokes exist:

  • Which ghost is the best dancer?

The Boogie Man

  • Why do ghosts like to ride in elevators?

It raises their spirits

  • Why are vampires so easy to fool?

They’re suckers!

  • What treat do eye doctors give out on halloween?

Candy corneas

  • What do you get when you sit on a pumpkin?


  • What do you call a ghost with a broken leg?

A hoblin’ goblin!

  • What’s the problem with twin witches?

You never know witch is which

  • What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?

Spare ribs

  • What do you call a haunted chicken?


  • What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?

It’s a pain in the neck

  • Why do mummies have so much trouble keeping friends?

They’re too wrapped up in themselves

  • Why did the ghost go into the bar?

For the Boos!

  • Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?

No, they eat the fingers separately

And last, but not least, my personal favorite:

  • Two monsters went to a Halloween party. Suddenly one said to the other, “A lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?”

“Be a gentleman and roll them back to her.”

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