Fire Burn and Cauldron Bubble

Tis the night — the night
Of the grave’s delight,
And the warlocks are at their play;
Ye think that without
The wild winds shout,
But no, it is they — it is they.

~Arthur Cleveland Coxe

Is it really Halloween without a few puns? Although my wicked witch senses were slightly satisfied after dressing my cat as a Jedi – in an attempt to boost my holiday spirit I had to CREEP it real and remind everyone that these painfully corny jokes exist:

  • Which ghost is the best dancer?

The Boogie Man

  • Why do ghosts like to ride in elevators?

It raises their spirits

  • Why are vampires so easy to fool?

They’re suckers!

  • What treat do eye doctors give out on halloween?

Candy corneas

  • What do you get when you sit on a pumpkin?

Squash

  • What do you call a ghost with a broken leg?

A hoblin’ goblin!

  • What’s the problem with twin witches?

You never know witch is which

  • What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?

Spare ribs

  • What do you call a haunted chicken?

Poultry-geist!!

  • What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?

It’s a pain in the neck

  • Why do mummies have so much trouble keeping friends?

They’re too wrapped up in themselves

  • Why did the ghost go into the bar?

For the Boos!

  • Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?

No, they eat the fingers separately

And last, but not least, my personal favorite:

  • Two monsters went to a Halloween party. Suddenly one said to the other, “A lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?”

“Be a gentleman and roll them back to her.”

About the Author

Nancy Carroll is a senior at UNCC double majoring in English and Political Science. When she is off campus you can find her speculating Star Wars fan theories or hanging out with her cats. If she ever graduates, Nancy would like to join a publishing house and see the world.

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